Mayhem at 25,000 feet

Ladies & Gentlemen, please picture this scenario: You are an expatriate staff working for one of Nigeria’s biggest, multinational banks. Since your bank has a presence in West Africa, you are to visit your company’s operational office in Cameroun.You book a flight via one of Nigeria’s indigenous airlines whose name rhymes with ‘cell-due’. You board the plane for the 90-minute flight to Douala.Although this airline has had one tragic incident in the not-so-distant past, you are relaxed as you have many years of experience flying.Now,take-off goes smoothly and the airliner is almost at cruising altitude.Then,30 minutes into the flight the aircraft starts to shake aggressively. This continues for far too long to seem like ordinary turbulence. Then you hear the captain’s voice. The plane is experiencing some major problems along its route. Consequently, according to the pilot, they would have to attempt an emergency landing: On WATER!!! As the pilot is rounding up his distressing message to the passengers, the much-dreaded oxygen masks automatically disengage & drop down in front of everyone’s seat.Expectedly,pandemonium ensues.Screams,panic,crying,begging,the name ‘Jesus’ being called out by Christians and pagans alike, like it was going to be permanently banned from everyone’s lips the next day. As an experienced traveller of many, many years you are not as worried as everyone else seems to be. At least till what happens next. The flight attendants join in: Screaming, crying, running, begging & jumping up and down in panic like they had been electrocuted with a 1,000 volts of electricity. One female attendant is shouting out the Lord’s name, asking no one in particular ‘Why?’, “Why did I take this job?’’HEEELLLLPPP…Oh God’. At this point, you almost pee in your pants. Who can blame you? If the trained/experienced cabin crew have all visibly given up hope, who are you not to? Your end is tragically near, you think. You wait, in silent prayer, despite the almost deafening screams resonating around you. Seeming louder than that from a football stadium’s crowd after a last-minute winning goal in a World Cup Final.However,as it wasn’t yet the destined end-time for all on board, the pilots are able to avoid the imminent crash-landing by miraculously controlling the 737 and making an air-return back to Murtala Muhammed Airport. You’ve never being happier to land at the nation’s busiest airport in your life, albeit unplanned.
People, all you’ve just read was a true story. This happened about 5 weeks again. The experience was relayed by the expatriate himself. A day he’ll obviously never forget.
For me, I remember a Virgin Atlantic flight I took from Heathrow to Lagos about 6 years ago. Before we took off, the pilot had told us that it was expected to be a bumpy ride when cruising through european airspace, due to the bad pre-take off weather reports they had received in the flight deck. During the flight, we went through terrible and seemingly endless turbulence. Quite disturbing that the worried lady in front of me kept turning back to ask me what was going on with all the bumpiness. As if I was on the phone with the flight’s captain. As for me, what kept me composed during the 15-minute long turbulence was the visible composure the flight crew showed throughout.They kept serving food and drinks, with an accompanying warm smile, as if they was absolutely nothing for anyone to be worried about.That made me relax and feel that we were in no danger whatsoever (whether true or not).So if I was on this aforementioned flight to Douala and had seen the cabin crew doing all the theatrics, I might have done the ‘no. 2’ in seconds.Thankfully,all passengers were safe and sound.And,as you’ll expect, the expatriate changed his choice of airline for his 2nd attempt to Cameroun. Wouldn’t you have?